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Does a Disabled Child Equal a Disabled Family?

6 Tips for Preventing Family Stress

By Melinda Copp

"Maintain a sense of humor because there are so many serious things that happen when you're raising a developmentally delayed child," Hower says. "And if you don't have a sense of humor, then maybe you need to find one because it isn't easy."

Raising and caring for a developmentally disabled person is serious business. But the ability to laugh and have fun with your family despite the tough times will help keep everyone close.

Next, you need to build up a solid support system. Look for state agencies, community support groups, family and friends who can help you, listen to you and offer advice.

"If you try to go it alone, you'll lose yourself," Hower says. Surround yourself with people you can call when you need someone.

Once you have a support system in place, you have to remember that you need to stand your ground. Don't be afraid to do what you feel is best for your child, regardless of what anyone else says.

"No one knows your child better than you," Hower says. "Professionals know technical things, and they know what works for their other patients, but when it comes to your family, what works for everyone else might not work for you."

Don't be afraid to go with your gut feelings when it comes to your child's education and care.

Another important part of raising a disabled child is to understand the medical terminology that doctors and other professionals use to describe your child's condition. Hower and his wife learned the importance of this the hard way. When doctors described their daughter as "developmentally delayed," Hower's wife was under the impression that if she was delayed, she would eventually catch up.

"She thought because 'delayed' means something temporary, like, 'I am delayed in traffic, but I'll catch up to you later,' that our daughter would eventually catch up to other kids as she grew," Hower says. "It wasn't until she was 6 years old that my wife realized she would never catch up to other kids."

Want to see more?

• Beyond Surprise and Shock: Learning Your Baby Has Special Needs
• It's Not Your Fault: How Parents Can Cope with Their Child's Disability
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