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Parenting Special Needs Children
Top 5 Qualities of Successful Special Parents
By Teri Brown
Lisa C. Greene is a mother of two children with cystic fibrosis, and co-author of Parenting Children with Health Issues: Essential Tools, Tips, and Tactics for Raising Kids with Chronic Illness, Medical Conditions, and Special Healthcare Needs (Love & Logic Press, 2007). In her experience, patience is the No. 1 attribute parents must have as the parent of a special needs child. "When we have children with special issues of any kind, the stress levels of daily living are almost always very high," she says. "Modern day family life can be stressful for anyone, but we operate with a higher stress load than the average family. Frustration is a natural and understandable reaction to the struggles we face when things don't go right, which is, unfortunately, often the case."
According to Greene, frustrations come easily when dealing with the child, their siblings, the doctor, the school, the situation, society, etc. That is the time special parents need to take a deep breath before reacting. "We end up acting out: we get upset; we lose control; we lose our patience," she says. "Things generally don't turn out well for us when we lose our patience – we say the wrong things, we act irrationally and we make mistakes."
Greene suggests that special parents take one day at a time, one moment at a time. Try to stay focused on what can be done right now, in this moment, to improve the situation. Don't worry about what hasn't happened yet.