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Extraordinary Dads, Special Kids
Meeting the Needs of Special Needs Children
By Jenny Rackley
James May, Project Director for the National Fathers' Network, has helped set up support groups nationwide for fathers of special needs kids. The fathers he has worked with share the intense isolation, the stress, the fears and the loneliness of men in extraordinary circumstances with societal pressures to "take it like a man." They also share their immense love for their children, their pride at every small step forward, and their acceptance of their children for who they can be and what they will do.
Says Kurt DeWeese, whose son at four does not talk, "It's easy for most parents to take what [they've] got for granted. I am so happy at the progress my son continues to make." In the Families and Disabilities Newsletter (10/95), Bob Dale wrote about his daughter, who had become deaf, blind, and paralyzed as a result of spinal meningitis. He said, "You need to realize that Jesse is not expected to live much past the age of 12 or 13, so every moment with her is a precious gift; a point in time to be savored. Every smile is a prayer answered. Every time I stroke her cheek I feel a sense of wonder and appreciation that she is here, with me now."
The research on fathers and their special needs children is continuing, and support groups for dads are emerging all over the nation. It has been said that adults don't produce children, children produce adults. This is even more true with special needs children. A special needs child can produce not just a dad, but an extraordinary father. It takes an extraordinary father to step up to meet the challenges presented by his special needs child and his family.
For more information on supporting dads with special needs children, fathers, families and service providers can contact the following:
National Fathers' Network, The Kindering Center, 16120 NE Eighth Street, Bellevue, WA 98008 (Phone: 425-747-4004 or 206-282-1069)
The Beach Center on Families and Disability, 3111 Haworth, University of Kansas, Lawrence, KS 66045 (Phone: 913-864-7600)