- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- special kids today articles
- special kids today q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
A Social Mine Field
Understanding Asperger's Syndrome
By Andrew Inches
But now middle school looms on the horizon. The charter school says Kirsten's ready to move on. Her mother isn't so sure. The world of middle school is a shark tank and Williams is worried Aspies become easy prey. 
"When they're teenagers, it's hell," says Dr. Prichard. "Teenagers are exquisitely concerned with not being different and Aspies are so different." Their awkward behavior stands out like a sore thumb in a sea of kids striving to be homogeneous.
Williams is concerned about Kirsten's survival in a middle school setting. Kirsten is moving from a small class of 10 children to a school with more than a thousand students. Given Kirsten's small 55-pound frame and her diagnosis, the prospect of middle school is fearful for her parents. "I worry about her physical safety and I worry about her being taken advantage of," says Williams.
Aspies tend to be overly trusting and even gullible. Desperate for acceptance, they can be easily taken advantage of. In school, Kirsten was once dared to bite another child. She complied because she didn't realize she didn't have to do it. "She didn't accept it as a chalenge, but an edict," says Williams. "I'm fearful of what she will be dared to do in middle school."
When classmates and faculty see an Aspie's behavior in school, it tends to make them more isolated. "If they have meltdowns they scare [peers] off, the teachers get freaked out, they get put in smaller classes and isolated settings," says Dr. Prichard.
Then come the struggles with actually going to school. Many with Asperger's have organizational troubles. Keeping track of their assignments is hard. The physical transition of getting from class to class can be daunting.
Currently, Kirsten has a backpack with only two items. "She loses one, the other or both all the time," says Williams. The thought of having to go to a locker to switch out books six times a day in middle school has Williams convinced this will be a hurdle for Kirsten. She plans on preparing six separate backpacks for Kirsten to keep in each classroom.
All of these elements put together make middle and high school particularly difficult for Aspies. As a result, many are home schooled. "I just wish we could afford to put her in a really good private school," says Williams. If there were a way for Kirsten to escape middle school and move on to college, Williams would jump at the chance. "In a college environment, there's so much more opportunity for them to be successful because the social thing isn't such a big deal – you move past the cliques and the fashion parade," says Williams.
Instead, Williams will do what she can to help her daughter succeed. But the road there can take its toll on a parent.