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February 1, 2004
2-1-04
So when do “other” symptoms of disorders appear? Many have told me that around the age of 3yrs old, things start to “show” in children. Well, Ryan obviously had some special needs around 2yrs old. Now that he is approaching 3yrs old (this July) I am starting to really watch his behavior a little more closely and have noticed a few odd things. For instance, he can’t stand it if his cookie is broken, or anything for that matter if he has to eat it, it can’t be “broken”. Last night, we went through three different ice cream sandwiches to find the one that wasn’t cracked or missing a piece. That is little in the spectrum of things but just something new I noticed and it makes me wonder. “What does this little man have in store for us and what is in store for him?”
I have a history of working in the field of Autism. When I was younger I worked in a group home with Autistic Adults. On some weekends, I worked with the children at day programs. It was difficult to see the families struggle with these adults and children, it was difficult at times working with them. And I never imagined that someday, I could be faced with this as well – with my own children. Some of the adults never had family visit them, it was as if they were just forgotten. How sad it is but it is very true and I am sure, very common for these individuals to be institutionalized and forgotten about. “Out of sight out of mind.”
Ryan has not been diagnosed with anything other than SID (Sensory Integration Dysfunction) but the possibility of “other” disorders or disabilities has not been dismissed. Because of his young age, we have been told we just have to wait and see what happens with him. I know that SID is on the Autism spectrum and SID is a hallmark trait of Autism. I wonder how often a child has SID and never has Autism surface.
I have a good friend who works in the school system with special needs children. She has been one of many to tell me that things could get worse for us before they get better. I don’t know if that helps or not. She told me a story about one of the kids she works with. Totally normal child until 1 month before his 3rd birthday. She said the family went on a road trip to another state and on the way home, the child changed, within a few hours he started having “strange” behaviors and stopped talking by the end of the trip. The family knew something was wrong and took him to the Dr. The child was diagnosed with severe autism. WOW – from totally normal to completely helpless and disabled. How does this happen? I know these things are in them from the time of birth and it shocks me that it takes so long to surface sometimes. It also worries me that my son may too, all of a sudden, stop talking, stop smiling, stop loving me with his eyes and completely disconnect himself from his surroundings. I hate the “wait and see” game but what else can be done?
We treat Ryan as a normal part of our family. Try to deal with him as we would his sister but there are a lot of differences. Taylor can’t understand sometimes why he gets special treatment when she would otherwise be in big trouble for things. I try very hard not to treat them differently but in some cases, there is no choice. Ryan has different needs than his older sister and she is just learning that. It is hard at times but she will grow to learn that her brother and her are two different people, one older and one younger, and throughout life things are not always going to be the same for both of them if for no other reason than the age difference.
I have read others diaries and the stories of things you deal with on a daily basis with your children that have special needs. My heart goes out to you and your families because I know it is hard and I know it takes a lot out of you to go through this. My daily life isn’t nearly as difficult as some of yours, and I applaud your successes in handling your roadblocks. I can only hope and pray that if I am ever faced with more challenges than what I am already facing, I can be as strong as you are.
So for now, Ryan is doing well, learning on a daily basis and giving us new challenges to deal with daily. He is learning how to manipulate situations in his favor which is very interesting to see.
Until next time!
Gerri
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