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November 27, 2002
11/27/02 Jarod has a serious, near fatal accident and my thoughts on Thanksgiving
I'll divide this into categories so you can skip to the parts you want to read first. :o)
I'm thankful most of all for my Mom
My mother is a very strong woman that has overcome so much in her life, it amazes me sometimes. She gives of herself without a thought to the consequences. When she was still working full time at a local university, she was known for giving hungry work-study students her last $2 without being asked. To say my mother should be nominated for sainthood is an understatement. When she became disabled and could no longer work, I tried my best to help her whenever I could. Finally, we convinced her to move in with us after we bought a house big enough for everybody.
Mom kept Jaida for me from the beginning, in spite of having several health problems and needing supplemental oxygen at all times. She and Jaida developed a beautiful relationship that has blossomed into mutual devotion over the years. I am sometimes a little envious of their special bond. When Jarod came along, she became equally attached to him and he loves his "Na-Na" to pieces. I am the most blessed mommy in the world to have such an excellent caregiver for my children. If she can, she will make Jaida's dinner so that it's ready when we walk in the door. Often times, she will call me at work and ask me what I would like to eat as well. She also makes sure Steve has plenty of his favorite iced tea in the refrigerator and before her back started to give her trouble she would do laundry, iron and even change the beds!
In the last year or so, her back became unbearably painful. It was determined (after she underwent cervical fusion surgery) that she has degenerative disc disease. She sought treatment from a pain management specialist and underwent spinal injections with steroids two or three times a year. Lately, the pain has gotten to be too much, so on Tuesday, she underwent a spinal nerve block to try and get longer lasting relief. We are all hoping this works and she can enjoy a normal pain-free life.
I'm also thankful for my husband *and* his parents
In my last entry, I described how Steve and I used to fight over my immaturity. I am proud to say that I overcame that and we are more appreciative of each other. It takes a lot of work to make our house run smoothly and Steve got to see that firsthand during my recovery two weeks ago. I was unable to lift or bend over and he had to do all the diapering, bathing and cooking. Of course, Mom helped out a lot, but he had to get up with Jarod in the night. He has continued to be helpful now that I am back to normal as well. He still gives baths and tries to help with pajamas and medicines, etc. I am one lucky woman!
Steve does his best to make sure we are all taken care of. He goes to work at 5:00 during our busy season, so he will be off at his regular time to be home with us. If at all possible, he doesn't do much overtime on weekends to help me with errands or to have family time. This makes weekday mornings hard, but I have learned not to complain. If I need something, all I have to do is ask. If he doesn't have it, he can make sure I get it. All the time he's put in helping his parents build their new house has earned us some extra money that keeps us afloat. I try to remember this when I am sulking over being alone with the kids on the occaisonal Saturdays that he works. I know he would much rather be at home and he wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't necessary.
I've mentioned before that my in-laws and I are not too chummy. They are very complicated people and over the years, I have tried to understand them. This is no easy feat since I can't possibly understand some of the things they lived through, like the civil rights movement and other obstacles. They are the type of people that don't have sympathy for whiners or complainers. For years, I couldn't get past this. Their philosophy is, everybody has their burden to carry and you should just suck it up and move on. I do think I've had an effect on them as far as empathy goes and they have changed some. When I told them about the school Jaida attends now, my MIL offered to help us pay for it. It has been very beneficial to Jaida's progress and we could not have afforded it on our own. For that, I am forever in their debt.
When it comes to Jaida's special diet, we have butted heads, but they are learning. Now, when I say Jaida can't have something, they don't question it. I'm finally getting respect as a mother and I am so glad about that. Everybody knows that I have done hours of research and I would not do something if I thought it wouldn't help or improve Jaida's quality of life. Now, I just send her food when she goes to visit Grandma and Grandpa and they call and ask before they give her anything that I didn't send.
My MIL has been trying to see Jarod more and let him get used to her. I think she has learned from her relationship with Jaida that she needed to see him more often. When Jaida was an infant, she hardly ever visited or baby-sat her. When Jaida started to walk and was more interesting, suddenly she wanted to keep her all the time. She has expressed more than once how she doesn't like to care for small infants that require lots of attention. Eventually, she started taking Jaida to church with her twice a month when she was a toddler. It took a long time for Jaida to go without lots of tears and hysterics. Now, they both enjoy their time together. When Jarod was born, she made an effort to get to know him so he would get used to her and not be scared when she came over to visit. Since my Mom is recovering, my MIL is watching Jaida and Jarod for me today and she even took Jarod home with her yesterday afternoon. He didn't even cry! He just waved at me and went out the door. What a difference a little invested time makes.
I think Jarod might be ready to join Jaida on those bi-weekly Sunday visits. My MIL has been hinting for a while that he should come with them now. I just thought he needed more time. I guess he showed me who was ready yesterday! I just don't know if mommy is ready; sniff, sniff. On the other hand, that will give Steve and I a chance to have some couple time and maybe see a movie once in a while. After all, we have to nurture our relationship to stay happy. It's nice to remember what it was like before we were mommy and daddy. I also need some regular "me" time too.
Jarod's near fatal accident
On Monday, I took Jarod to OT like always. About 15 minutes in, I had the feeling I should go check on him. Since he does better when I'm not in the room, I stayed in the lobby. A while later, Jennifer brought him out 15 minutes early. When I saw her carrying him, I knew something was up. She sat down next to me and I immediately noticed that Jarod's face was broken out and he was too quiet. Jennifer asked if he was allergic to peanut butter. I felt my stomach drop. I said yes. Then she tells me she let him smear some on his face and "a little might have gotten into his mouth." I grabbed his jacket and his bag to make a mad dash for home. I thought if I could get him home and give him some benadryl, he would be okay. His first taste of peanut butter caused his first reaction and that time, it was not too serious. But I had no idea how long ago the exposure began.
Jarod was sneezing and scratching. Small welts were popping up every place he had put the peanut butter on his face. To my horror, Jennifer was still trying to talk to me. I was walking away quickly and she was saying something about next week. I wanted to wrap my hands around her throat, but I didn't have time. Jarod had a small bubble-like blister on his lip and he was acting very lethargic. In the car, he kept scatching at his throat. About a mile down the road, his lips looked bigger. A few seconds later he looked like he was going to sleep. I decided to go back and take him to the ER at the hospital next door to the therapy center. When I looked back again, he was slumped over in his car seat. I did a U-turn and got onto the service road that led back to the hospital. I had to be doing 80 mph and I didn't give a damn. I was passing people and running stop signs.
I screeched up to the ER and left my car in the tow zone. I ran in and tried to explain through my tears and sobbing that Jarod was having an allergic reaction. He was awake now and they were moving a little too slow for me. They took his weight, temp and pulse ox, which was 97. I realized they were probably considering his reaction to be moderate and I was able to calm down some then. The ER doc had the nurse bring an oral dose of benadryl. As soon as they got it down, it came right back up along with everything else. We cleaned Jarod up and they gave him a shot of benadryl in his thigh. It worked almost instantly and he drifted back to sleep again. I layed him on the gurney and paced the room. I couldn't believe this! Jennifer claimed there was no mention of his allergy in his chart or her personal notes. I remembered telling her and I couldn't believe she had forgotten.
When I got home, I wrote a letter to Jennifer's boss. I demanded to be reimbursed for the ER co-pay ($150) and Jarod's medicines ($22.18) since it was her mistake. I also told him that I couldn't recall if the forms I filled out had a place to list allergies. If there had been one, I know I would have listed soy and peanuts. I never considered writing it on there anyway and I guess I should have. Jennifer called me this morning to check on Jarod. When I told her about the letter, she said her boss probably wouldn't give me any money back since the allergy wasn't documented. I'm so over this now, it's pathetic. Maybe they will at least take my suggestion and revise the forms to include a place to list allergies. These days there are too many people allergic to common things like latex and peanuts. A few weeks ago, she gave Jarod a balloon to play with. What if he had been allergic to latex? I won't even go there.
Jarod was discharged from the ER after an hour or so and he will have to take zantac and prednisone for the next few days. Steroids always make him wired and it started this morning. It took forever to get him and Jaida ready to go to my MIL's. To top it off, Jaida's teacher let her eat cheese, crackers and a muffin at the school party yesterday. I have *two* notes posted in the kitchen. Did they decide that since it was a special occasion, they could break my rules? Oh joy... She was demon child this morning and I was so glad I won't be home with her today. Say what you want, but living with her is not always a bed of roses when she's had forbidden foods. The combination of the two of them acting up was almost too much for me. At least it's quiet here at work today and I am slacking as usual. :o)
Finally, I am also thankful for my doctor. When I sat in her office crying like a baby earlier this month, she was very compassionate. We talked about all the things going on in my life and she assured me I had every right to be depressed. I know I may seem like "super mom" but without my faith in God and his help, I couldn't do any of this. I get weary and I get tired, but I can't run away no matter how much I want to. My doctor and I decided that with my history of depression and PPD, I need a little chemical help. I've been taking a drug called Effexor for almost a month now and I'm feeling so much better. I can cope with the tantrums and bad behavior without screaming and yelling back. It's much easier for me to deal with life and I am glad to be here again. I think I have gone on long enough for one entry and I apologize. Thanks for reading and feel free to ask me about anything on my TTM board. I've left you with a lot to think about this week, I'm sure.
Happy Thanksgiving to all and until next time,
Kim, Jaida & Jarod
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