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Expert Q&A
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| By Elizabeth Pantley Child Behavior Expert Better Beginnings, Inc. | ||
I have a 7-year-old child with ADHD. I have tried several methods, including reward systems, to get her to keep her room clean. Nothing seems to be working. Can you suggest something?
1. Think About It
Every time you walk by the bedroom, the mess annoys you. You grumble and mumble until finally you reach the boiling point and explode in anger. When you finally put your foot down, you discover that you and your child have vastly different definitions of "clean." While you envision an immaculate and orderly room, your child may be perfectly happy as long as she can find her way to the bed without a road map. You obviously have conflicting goals. Try to find a long-term solution that works for both of you.
2. Organize
When the bedroom has reached the point of a national disaster, the mess is overwhelming for your child. At this point, you may have to grit your teeth and help with the initial cleanup. Use plenty of boxes, baskets or tubs to sort your child's clothes and belongings. Label each container clearly (socks, books, schoolwork, etc.).
What happens next is most important: Initiate a daily cleanup time to prevent the build up of another mess. Inspect every day after cleanup time. At that point use "Grandma's Rule": "As soon as your room is clean you may go out to play." This rule is also known as the "When/Then" approach: "When you have cleaned your bedroom, then you may turn on the computer."
3. Contract
Sit down with your child and develop a bedroom-cleaning contract. Work together to define what constitutes a "clean room" in very specific terms: clothes in dresser and closet (either hanging or folded), books in bookcase, stuffed animals on top bunk, etc. You might even consider allowing a "messy corner" where she can toss things temporarily. Just make sure the corner is clearly sectioned off, such as a section of the closet.
Once you've agreed on the terms for a "clean room," choose a specific day of the week for cleaning. One schedule that works well for many families is to require a clean room Saturday prior to any activities or playtime. Include a specific plan for what will happen if the room is not clean by the scheduled time. Write the contract and have everyone sign the agreement. Post it and follow through."
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