Adults are often thought of as the teachers and children the learners. Doctors are considered to be some of the most successful and intelligent teachers of all, curing the incurable and using the magic of medicine to heal.

Dr. Fred Epstein has treated and operated on thousands of children, raised five children of his own and mentored several surgeons-to-be during his 30-year career as a pediatric neurosurgeon. "My young patients have been my most trustworthy teachers and guides," he writes in If I Get to Five: What Children Can Teach Us About Courage and Character (Henry Holt and Company, 2003). "At critical junctures in my life, they’ve shown me the way toward compassion, hope, tenacity and, most of all, courage."

Dr. Epstein, who also wrote Gifts of Time, a book that discusses the surgical challenges and technological breakthroughs of neurosurgery, himself overcame discouraging learning disabilities in childhood and a lack of support while applying to medical school to become one of the leading pediatric neurosurgeons in the world.

But in late September 2001, Dr. Epstein faced possibly the greatest obstacle of his life. While riding his bike near his Connecticut home, Dr. Epstein had an accident that tore a blood vessel in his skull, putting him in a coma for close to a month, leaving his speech slurred, his right side partially paralyzed and his life forever altered.

"My job for the past year has been to rehab my body and mind," writes Dr. Epstein. "In many ways, it’s been the hardest job of my life. It’s given me an even deeper appreciation for the emotional and physical rigors my patients have faced all these years. This year I’ve had the rare opportunity to be still, to spend time at home with my family, and to reflect on what I’ve learned from my practice and from my patients. I’ve been on the receiving end of lots of lessons – some tough, some sweet."

These "tough" and "sweet" lessons form the bulk of If I Get to Five. The title refers to the goals that one of Dr. Epstein’s early patients, a 4-year-old girl named Naomi, set for herself as she battled a vicious brain tumor. If Naomi could get through all the surgeries and the pain, she knew she could learn to ride a bike, jump rope backward and tie her shoes in a double-knot when she turned 5. Amazingly, Naomi did make it to 5 and is living happily today at the age of 30. She also has been inspirational in helping Dr. Epstein "raise the bar another notch for myself every day," he writes. "I find myself chanting my own ‘If I get to’ mantras to coax myself through the next long session of rehab."

Naomi’s is just one of several heartwarming stories that Dr. Epstein smoothly weaves into his book. While inspiration, joy and knowledge can be drawn from each child’s story, there are not always happy endings, and Dr. Epstein does not shy away from showing the painful reality of children’s suffering or of acknowledging his own personal shortcomings.

Chris was a teenage patient of Dr. Epstein’s who did not make it. Even though he had courageously come to terms with his tumor and with death, Chris wanted most to have his hand held, to love and to be loved in return. After reading a poem Chris wrote shortly before his death that touched upon these needs, Dr. Epstein realized he had not made comforting his young patients a top priority and vowed to never again "lose sight of what was most human in my patients – their need for comfort."

Chris’ story and the stories of Dr. Epstein’s many other young patients inspired him to create a place where children would always have someone to hold their hand, where parents’ need to comfort their children would not be restricted by visiting hours and where hope and joy would be more pervasive than worry and pain. That place is the Institute for Neurology and Neurosurgery (INN) at Beth Israel Hospital in New York City, which opened its doors in 1996.

The INN offers its child patients clowns, music therapy and even IV drip poles decorated as palm trees. Parents can visit whenever they wish, stay comfortably overnight in beds next to their children’s and wash their clothes on site so they do not have to leave their child’s side for even a moment. "It’s a wonderful place," says Dr. Epstein, who is proud to be the founding director of this haven for children that serves multiple needs while saving multiple lives.

What makes Dr. Epstein different from other doctors and the INN different from other medical facilities is clear; what makes If I Get to Five different from the typical "survivor literature" or inspirational book is how Dr. Epstein chooses to write it. He illustrates the lessons learned from children instead of simply teaching them to readers. After all, this book is a tribute to children doing the teaching. Dr. Epstein is certainly a tough survivor, but the book is about the courage of children and what adults can learn from them.

"Much has been written about how important it is for adults to model behavior for children," writes Dr. Epstein. "What I’ve discovered again and again is that children can model courage and character for adults, if only we pay attention to them."

Obviously, Dr. Epstein has done more than just "pay attention" to his patients. He has mimicked their courage in his own recovery, of which he pledges, "I hope to get well, I have to get well." While Dr. Epstein concedes "it is impossible to say at this time what my future holds," he knows one thing for certain: "Children are indestructible."

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